Desi kuri in South Africa
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Post by Desi kuri in South Africa on Nov 15, 2004 14:09:37 GMT
What's up everyone? Gotta say found this topic really interesting cos living in SA now, but being an original Brit Asian kuri, always like to check up wots happening on the local scene.
Wanted to share my personal experience- I've gotta really good Sikh mate in UK n we've been friends for years now, but the thing is, his parents are so strict they don't even know he has a Muslim girl for a mate! Like when I come to London, can't go to certain areas with him in case someone he knows sees us! I think it's pretty crazy cos we're just friends innit.
But in terms of mixed marriages... I guess it could work, but like a lot of people have said, there's a lot of factors you need to take into consideration, like kids, one's parents, etc.
But at the end of the day, all your parents want is your (their childrens) happiness. So if you and your partner can get it together and work through all the possible 'long-term' difficulties and differences, then there can't be anything wrong with getting married to the person you really care about and want to spend the rest of your life with.
I think it's also a good idea to be open with your parents from the start. Yeah, I know not everyone has very open relationships with their parents, but they're gonna have to know at some point if you both want to get married, so why not let them know from the start?? It'll keep your mind at peace, and your partners.
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Post by Taz on Dec 17, 2004 21:39:37 GMT
I tink dat is a gr8 idea if a muslim person gets married 2 a sikh bt as long dere turnt 2 a muslim.....AT DA END OF DA DAY!!?? bt it shldnt matta wetha ure a sikh or wat coz were all da same by bein us ASAINZZ!!(N PROUD OF IT!! ) BT NEWAYZ, BIGG UP 2 ALL MY MUSLIMSS!!! PEACEE!!!
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Post by HARVINDEER on Dec 17, 2004 22:03:58 GMT
INNITTHGH TAZ!! I AGREE WIT U DER! EVEN THGH IM A BLOODY SIKH MYSLF...BT OH WELLZ! BT I MST SAY AGREE WIT U DERE HUN!!
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Post by Zainab on Dec 18, 2004 1:22:32 GMT
I agree with Taz There's nothing wrong with a mixed marriage. I married a Panjabi guy & I love him 2 bits & I've converted to Sikhism for him, even when he told me to keep my faith. That's what you call love!
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Post by shaz on Dec 18, 2004 19:38:40 GMT
nah it dont work,even doh ma best m8s r sikhs and im muslim,got nuf respect for others religion but the 2 religions just clash.even in this day n age,it really woulnt bother me,but i no 4fact kma family wud get d hump!
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Post by shaz on Dec 18, 2004 19:40:55 GMT
im afaraid as much as sum of us want 2.c happy endings, it dont work!coz both the religions just clash.
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TAZ
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Post by TAZ on Dec 18, 2004 19:43:24 GMT
i think dat zainab is right however, u shld of not converted ureslf 2 a sikh, coz u was born a muslim n will die as a muslim!!!
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Post by Zainab on Dec 19, 2004 10:08:43 GMT
Not really I might have been born a Muslim, but doen not mean I will be a Muslim when I die? Espically when I a SIkh now & go to the Gurdwara. But your probaly trying to start a fight of on this forum.
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Post by ripa on Dec 24, 2004 22:00:47 GMT
I totally agree wid taz! u should b ashamed of ur self zainab! i can't believe u were once my muslim sista! u have disgraced the muslim society! but i still hpe u r happy with your marriage, but was it worth giving up your tru faith??????? >:(
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Post by Zainab on Dec 25, 2004 13:17:39 GMT
Ripa hi. Thank you for your kind words about my marriage. Yes I am happliy married & I don't see how I've let down the muslim world by converting to a diffrent religion. I did so out of my own free choice with no pressure from my husband. The point I make to other people is that's it ok if a person of another religion/faith convert to Islam, but not the other way around? Why is that? It's Ok if my husband converts to Islam because of me, but not ok if I convert to Sikhism for him. If you see my point here. But like I said at the start of my post to you, thank you for your kind words about my marriage.
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TAZ
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Post by TAZ on Dec 25, 2004 13:49:49 GMT
wasssssuuup!!! my cuzin ripa! i totally agree wit u n also zainab! if ure happy wit ure marriage, den stay lke dat. newayz ripz, how u been??? cme rnd my house man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Post by Ripa on Dec 26, 2004 14:33:20 GMT
Sup peeps it's Ripa!!! Hi Zainab, those were very strong words from u, you've changed my mind. Although society says its bad 4 muslims n skhs 2 get married u fought against their word. but i still con't understand how ur parents agreed 2 this marriage? or did they? if they didn't agree wid ur marriage was it difficult 2 go against their word? i no i would b in an extremly difficult position. newayz congrats on ur marriage! :)
(Tazy ma bes couz how u? u lot r busy how can i cum 2 ur hse? u were ment 2 cum round on saturday!!!)
Nuff luv 4 ma muslim bros :-* n sistas.... oh yeah n da sikh community! xxx
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Post by taz on Dec 26, 2004 22:50:18 GMT
hiya ripz!u alrght hun??!! jus cme bck frm dadus hse! we did all da bride stuff! newayz i got 2 say dat ure msg was powerful! lolzzz! Meanin dat it has lke soooo much 2 it frm both sides! newayz hun write bck! n i didtn even no we were ment 2 cme! lolzz bt dnt wowwi still got da whole 2 weeks off so im sre we'll b seein u soon! k mwahzzzzxxxxxxxxx
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jatt
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Post by jatt on Dec 28, 2004 10:34:37 GMT
i disagree, sikhs should neva marry muslims it is so wrong, the sikh religion started all those years ago for 1 purpose, to fight muslims who wer converting our people,
for thousands of years our ancestors have kept our religion going by sticking 2 our own kind, WHO do U think you are fukin it all up just cuz ur in love..... you deserve to b shot for even thinking it,
I was born 100% a sikh and will die a sikh, and i will make my contribution by making sure my kids are 100% sikh, and like me my kids will loath muslims
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Post by ripz n taz on Dec 28, 2004 15:47:56 GMT
oh jatt! stop bein sooooooooooooooo bckwardz!
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Post by MissDesi on Dec 29, 2004 10:49:18 GMT
Thats is a question that will raise alot of other questions.
untill you are in the situation I don.t think you can judge. I mean a lot of people think marrying a black or white guy is wrong. Isn't that being racist though? when it happens to us we don't like it.
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Post by ripz n taz on Dec 29, 2004 21:33:24 GMT
yer truuuu we tink dat ur rght, bt 2 b honest itdepends on who u marry, n we wldnt b racist coz we gt differnt races of m8's! n we ave respct for em!
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Post by MUSLIM GAL on Dec 31, 2004 15:35:22 GMT
WHO TINKS SIKH N MUSLIM MARRIAGES R RONgg? ??
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Post by ripz n taz on Dec 31, 2004 15:47:55 GMT
i dnt tink dat is wrong! im soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo BORED!!!!! HELPPPPPPPPPP! OH NO RIPZ! URE GOIN HME 2DAY! DAT WAS FUNNI WEN WE SNT THOSE PICZ 2 IMRAN N BIYa!!! HAS SUJJI BEEN ON DIS RIPZ???
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Post by JHKGHK on Dec 31, 2004 15:48:34 GMT
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TAZ
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Post by TAZ on Jan 1, 2005 22:27:51 GMT
im soooooooooooooooo BORED! sme body helpme man!
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Post by east london kuri on Jan 1, 2005 23:27:12 GMT
this is so ANNOYING!!! for god's sake just because our parents insist of thinking that inter-religious marriages are taboo-why must we proceed with this ancient way of thinking? PLEASE lets move on, people go out with who you want, white, black, hindu, muslim or sikh-and good luck to you all! xx
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abcd
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Post by abcd on Jan 2, 2005 11:47:06 GMT
this is so ANNOYING!!! for god's sake just because our parents insist of thinking that inter-religious marriages are taboo-why must we proceed with this ancient way of thinking? PLEASE lets move on, people go out with who you want, white, black, hindu, muslim or sikh-and good luck to you all! xx ever stopped to think - were this leads to and what 1) will happen to your children who will want to get married to them ? who will want their children inviting yours over - as they do not want your mix family coming over, as it causing uneasyness your children grow up confused religiously , culturally, friends circle, your family circle, what do they put on thier legal documents when asked who they are ? mixed but why they will say why can we not have been like they rest of my "friends" Your children suffer all sorts of racial abuse - at school, home, uni, work, social life - maybe not so directly these days but they still - they are tormentented mentally 2) Your family do they want you doing this - NO so you lose your family your friends - not anymore as they do not want to be associated with you work & social life get affected - you suffer 3) Your partner exactly same woes and trouble as you will suffer Look at the animal kingdom - even animals will stick to their own for mating as they know that anything else in their circle is only a unwelcome curiosity and nothing else Disability and genetic disorders are reduced termendoulsy when having partners where the family tree can be traced - anyone marrying within a family ie cousins, or even incest etc will increase the chances of passing on the bad genes to their spring NOW - let me ask you - is this what you want your offspring to have - a life full of problems (not that "normal " offspring do not have their share of problems) but why add to this for the sake of LOVE ? how long will your LOVE last - after any marriage LOVE is no more - it just Living together or just plain and simple S E X Please do not follow the path that will cause GENERATIONS of problems - thats why your parents say its a TABOO - A.B.C.D. hope you know what that stands for Ps - also try out this little 10 question quizz on Taboo for fun www.philosophersmag.com/games/taboo.htm
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Post by east london kuri on Jan 2, 2005 23:15:28 GMT
abcd-thank u for your 'insightful' thoughts shall we say, but I too have some answers for you. To be honest, I find it upsetting that i have to share a world with someone who is as narrow minded and cynical as yourself. Why do you think that having mixed race children will suddenly make their lives extremely difficult, sorry to burst your bubble but two of my extremely close friends are mixed race, one with parents who are sikh and catholic, and the other with parents who are muslim and hindu.
do they suffer? NO do their family hate them? NO do they have problems at uni? NO do they have friends? YES on the contrary, they enjoy being able to expreience two very different cultures.
I don't mean to be personal, but I really do hope that one day you too see that there is more to life than race and religion, what can I say, maybe my politics is much more liberal than yours due to the way i was bought up, but hey such is life.
xx
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TAZ
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Post by TAZ on Jan 3, 2005 16:02:58 GMT
innt thgh! i get u east london kuri! das soooooooo truu! i tink dat derez no probz wit mixed marraiging, as long dere happy!!! xxxx
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