life
New Member
Posts: 17
|
Post by life on Jul 5, 2005 15:56:55 GMT
HIYA PEOPLE
I REALY HOPE U LOT CN HELP. IM IN A REAL BAD SITUATION. I WAS WID DIS GUY FOR NEARLY 2 YEARS. HIS FAMILY WERE REALY TYPICAL AS IN DIDNT BELIEVE IN LOVE MARIGES SO IN OUR 1ST YR OF GOIN OUT HIS FAMILY ARRANGED A WEDING FOR MY BF BK HOME INDIA.HE DIDNT KNOW NETHING AND I BELIVE HIM.IT WAS A HARD SITAUTION BUT WE BTH AGREED HE SHUD GO INDIA AND TEL DA GAL (THE PERSON HE IS MARRYING) THE SCORE (DAT WAS DA 1ST MISTAKE WE MADE) I REALY DIDNT WANT HIM 2 GET MARIED BUT WE DECIDED WE WIL DEAL WID IT. SO HE WENT AND GOT MARIED. MY BF SED THE GALS KNOW EVERYTHING BT SHE GOT FORCED LIKE HIM.HE CME BK AND TOLD ME HE ONLY HAD A CIVIL WEDING HE LIED, HE HAD A FULL INDIAN WEDING. AND HE BEEN LYIN GOR 6 MONTHS BOUT THAT AND I FOUND YDAY AND HE SED HE LIED TO KEEP ME COZ I WUDNT OF LIKED IT. HE WUD OF LOST ME ETC.I WAS HURT AND NOW HIS WIFE IS CUMIN IN 2 MONTHS BT HE CLAIMS HE KNOWS NOTHIN. I HV BEEN STIL SEEIN HIM UNTIL YDAY. I FIND IT VERY HARD TO MOVE ON. I MIS HIM LOTS BUT I FEEL HURT BUT I STIL CHAT 2 HIM AND I MIS HIM EVEN MRE IVE LOST HIM BUT I DNT WANA LOSE HIM IN LIFE GENERALY. I KEEP IN TOUCH BUT IF I KEEP IN TOUCH IM MESIN MY HEAD UP. COZ HE IS MARIED, HE SAYS TINGS LIKE SHE MEANS NOTHIN LETS B 2GTHER UNTIL WE CN UNTIL U GET MARIED. IM TRYIN 2 BELIVE HIM ITS COZ I WANT TO BE IM SO CONFUSED. WOT SHALL I DO PLZ HELP!!!
|
|
|
Post by Bunnypie on Jul 6, 2005 13:42:25 GMT
Hun..il help u. sory i jus had time 2 read ur msg....so plz bear wit me while i type a proper reply...thanx Bunnypie
|
|
|
Post by Bunnypie on Jul 6, 2005 13:56:13 GMT
I realy feel you babes. i cant say that i no EXACTLY wot u goin thru, but i can relate to u. i wil tel u my story after iv given advice on ur problem. It may not seem like it but things wil get easier. Wot i need u 2 do is to do woteva it takes jus 2 keep him in ur life. I have fallen in love wit my best m8, he knows how i feel but doesnt feel the same because he is already married. he hasnt had a full indian wedidng yet, but stil its not the point is it? Iv very nearly lost him because his other half is suspicious...iv had a few ruin-ins wit her.... i dont like her one bit and he deserves beta, but at the end of the day if he is happy then who i am to stop him. i jus want him to b happy and if she makes him happy then so b it.
I know your hurtin babes, i know u r. u jus wana cry every sec of the day, ur heart hurts, but at the moment there isnt alot u can do. Jus b happy for him and do anything it takes to stay in his life...and i mean anything. trust me it works. im not saying that that is a long term solution because its not, but it wil do for the time being.
Uv got me crying while im typin u this msg. cud realy do wot a hug right now......
reply bk
|
|
life
New Member
Posts: 17
|
Post by life on Jul 6, 2005 17:00:45 GMT
i know i wud love to keep him in my life, but it hurts. i rather me and him seperate bcoz i wil not know wot he is doin i wil mis him lots but its for da best coz if we stay in touch i wont b able to move on then wen i do get married i wil not hav time to heal but this way i do hav time to heal. u got me
|
|
life
New Member
Posts: 17
|
Post by life on Jul 6, 2005 17:02:56 GMT
i can stay in his life its up 2 me, coz he dnt cre about her etc he tels me he loves me everything but we cnt b 2gther so why stay and get mr atcahed il b hurt wen she here etc, but if i dnt know and i go dats it reply plz. and thaks for chatin 2 me
|
|
|
Post by Bunnypie on Jul 6, 2005 21:53:24 GMT
Babes i know wot u mean..trust me i do. right now while i am here typing this msg to u i hav to think bout him lying in bed with that b**ch.... he shud b wit me..in my arms.... and it hurts. u of all people knows how that feels. but at the end of the whether u keep in ur life or not ur gna b feeling the pain. so wudnt u ratha feel the pain and hav him in ur life...than feel the same pain and not hav him there. Babes u knowin how he feels obut u shud b enuf to keep u goin.....
reply bk
|
|
|
Post by bham da jatt on Jul 7, 2005 10:20:46 GMT
hi life n bunnypie, jus read this thread n "grrr..." im gonna try n keep calm n mature about it:
ok i would like to say like bunnypie i can also slightly relate to the situation, but wont go into that for now, lets jus talk about ur situation:
girls...in short all i will say is that never, EVER have anything to do with a married man, its jus so wrong!
in ur particular situation life, uve been together for 2 years, im sorry i shouldnt really make assumptions but it almost feels like this guy is completely messin u about. so what if he has a rishta from india, so what if his parents r so strict, at the end of the day, he was the one person to say yes to this wedding - i dont believe in this day n era, for us bought up in the uk, there is any such thing as forced marriages, particularly for the guy.
if he felt strongly about u then he should have refused to go to india in the first place, let alone go there n try to say no, im sorry but thats utter nonsense. if he didnt have the guts to say no to go there, how do u think he would have said no once he got there....he's just leading u on! (understand us guys!)
chances r that since he is from the uk, his parents managed to find him a really bueatiful girl in india n then his thing did the thinking n he didnt even think about u once.
anyway thats a one minded view on it i know, but im sure its the right one, if its not the right one then:
simply he shouldnt have got forced into the wedding, if he does really love u, im sure he could have managed to talk to his parents about u - caste religion same?
life....now that this has happened, its not worth it. he should know better, so he is defo more wrong than u for keeping in a relationship, but u have a duty too! think about the poor girl thats had to marry him in such a situation, im sorry im taking her side, but what wrong has she done to deserve this? i have a cousin who kinda done exactly the same, n i so felt for my bhabi, at the end of the day she jus left n went back home to india crying!
once some1 has made a commitement of marriage, that should be it! if u cant stay friends - ie u talk but u want more than jus friendship then that means u need to back off!
sorry bunnypie dont agree with u at all - imagine if u got married to this guy n u found out he's having an affair with some1 else, im sorry...but thats discusting!
please accept my apologises for being so harsh, but i do feel quite strongly in having a relationship with a married person, i hope u understand y.
take care, all the best
bham da jatt
x
|
|
|
Post by walsallkuri on Jul 7, 2005 12:55:12 GMT
Hey all- i just wanna say i completely agree with bham da jatt- dont get into more of a mess and get involved with a married man- it so not worth it. I cant say i've been in that situation, but from the sounds of it- he aint worth it. If he felt the same as u did-do u think he would have gone through with marriage??NO. As soon as u know that the person with u is lying- thats when u should think- hang on, i dont deserve to be messed about...and get out when u can. At the end of the day if he really trully didint wanna go thru with the marriage-he shouldnt have. I Know truth husrts but u really have to look at it like that.
Take care hun and i hope it all works out for the best.x
|
|
|
Post by Bunnypie on Jul 7, 2005 16:03:49 GMT
BhamJatt&Temptress... i do understand what u r saying bout being involved wit a married man, but it is totaly different wen u r emotionaly attached. as i have sed b4 every nite i hav 2 lie ion bed alone thinking of him in her bed....it kills, but iv had 2 back away frm a proper emotionaly relationship wit him, but all the feelings r stil there. Its hard 2 explain witout confusing u.....
reply bk
|
|
|
Post by walsallkuri on Jul 7, 2005 16:07:02 GMT
bunnypie- i can understand ur position-it must be so hard and i ges without experiencing it i cant really say much. sumtimes emotions get the better of u init- it stops u from actually sitting down and properly thinking things thru. I ges u sumtimes have to follow ur heart yeah, but also try and be sensible too.
I truly feel for u hun.x
|
|
|
Post by Bunnypie on Jul 7, 2005 16:18:01 GMT
I wudnt wish wot i was feeling on my worst enemy. and i do hav 2 agree wit u temptress and bhamjatt about that guy takin life 4 a ride.....
|
|
|
Post by walsallkuri on Jul 7, 2005 16:22:29 GMT
like i said bunnypie, i feel for u....really hope u can sort it all out...like i said the trust goes when sumone lies....she's gotta think if he loved her that much wud he have lied.....its a diff situation init..she can only do what she feels..
|
|
|
Post by Bunnypie on Jul 7, 2005 16:26:19 GMT
i know. my heart goes out 2 her....it realy doeS....
|
|
|
Post by walsallkuri on Jul 7, 2005 16:27:02 GMT
u go for it babe!
|
|
|
Post by Bunnypie on Jul 7, 2005 16:31:20 GMT
hold on...i gota find it first......OOPS!!!
|
|
|
Post by Bunnypie on Jul 7, 2005 16:38:39 GMT
IV'E LEARNT THAT U CANNOT MAKE SUM1 LUV U... ALL U CAN DO IS STALK THEM.... AND HOPE THEY PANIC AND GIV IN...
IV LEARNT NO MATTA HOW MUCH I CARE... SOME PEOPLE R JUS A**HOLES...
IV LEARNT THAT IT CAN TAKE YEARS... TO BUILD UP TRUST... BUT IT ONLY TAKES SUSPISION TO DESTROY IT...
IV LEARNT THAT U CAN GET BY... ON CHARM 4 BOUT 15MINS... AFTA THAT UD BETA HAV A BIG C**K OR BIG T*TS...
IV LEARNT U SHUDNT COMPARE URSLF 2 OTHERS... THEY R JUS AS SCREWED UP AS U U THINK...
IV LEARNT THAT U CAN KEEP VOMOITING... LONG AFTA U THINK UV STOPPED...
IV LEARNT THAT WE R RESPONSIBLE 4 WOT WE DO... UNLESS WE R CELEBRITIES...
IV LEARNT THAT REGARDLESS OF HOW HOT&STEAMY... A RELATIONSHIP IS AT FIRST.... THE PASSION FADES AND THERE HAD BETA B.... ALOT OF MONEY TO TAKE ITS PLACE....
IV LEARNT THAT THE POEPLE U CARE BOUT MOST IN LIFE.... ARE TAKEN FRM U 2 SOON... AND ALL THE LESS IMPORTANT PEOPLE JUS NEVA GO AWAY.....
|
|
life
New Member
Posts: 17
|
Post by life on Jul 7, 2005 17:46:57 GMT
Hiya Bham da jatt. Thanks for your advice and i totaly agree on the points begin made. ur rite in this generation there is no thing as forced marriages and yes he shudnt of went, and if he did he shud of fited anf fited coz tru love always wins, at the end of the day he took da ez way of by geting married.
and yes ur rite neva ever get invloved wid a married man wheather he agreed ot not. and i know what i hav to do and i am goin to do it. i am going to leave coz i have been thru all these things in my haed and even though it is going to hurt me and i am going to mis him i hav to deal wid it. this is the 1st tym i hv had my heart broken. in a way im glad this hapned as i didnt mk a mistake of running away wid him or nething. i love my fam and know im guna tk each day as it cumz but its so hard when u love sum1 even if they lied or not.
yh we both jatt and sikh, im studing ive jus fini my 2nd yr, my family are great and in a way im guna live 4 my family coz they love me and wudnt do nething 2 hurt me. i respect my family. al i hav to do is get over it. its hard we both from the same town. now he is maried i wudnt wana b in da picture coz of his wife. i have no rite. its jus so hard trust me. yh i understand and i aint a bit*h i wudnt ruin it for ne1, coz at the end of the day he is tryin 2 please bth me and his family he made the choice his family now i hv 2 mk mine. in this siutauion i got out lucky coz he is maried and i cn stil fini my final yr and then see wot lifes brings for me. and for the gal i feel realy soru for her, but i feel hurt to coz when u lv sum1 u cnt see them wid ne1 else.
thanks bham da jatt. i was writing ur last advice and trust me u seem like such a good and understand person thank you
|
|
life
New Member
Posts: 17
|
Post by life on Jul 7, 2005 17:53:08 GMT
hiya temptre. thanks for ur advice, yeh if i did stay i wud be geting myself in mre of a mess. i wud lose my family over it and in da end u neva know it mite not work out. ive learnt tk each day as it cumz. it hurts big time abd i feel like lifes S#!t at the min and neva guna get beter. im not guna get a nice guy. i feel so low and hurt. love hurts.
thanks for your adice god is wid me
|
|
life
New Member
Posts: 17
|
Post by life on Jul 7, 2005 17:56:56 GMT
hiya bunny pie. thanks for replyin. i understand what ur sayin but like i sed i cnt b his mate coz he wants me bk like he keeps sayin tings like i lv u and i tink my mind wonder and i belive him and i know i shudnt. yh he mite lv me but at the end of the day he lied and now he guna get best of bth world if i stay im guna get out while i can.
i understand ur situation and i bet it hurts so bad, i feel 4u coz when u lv sum1 u cnt share them but u hv 2 try and move on, coz at the end of the day while u chat 2 him u stil livin in the past. it sounds hard bt tym wil heal.
im hurting now but i dnt know
thanks hope it al works out and if u nid a chat il b pleased to help
|
|
life
New Member
Posts: 17
|
Post by life on Jul 7, 2005 18:09:57 GMT
thanks every1 and trust me i wish no1 goes thru this i nearly failed my yr at uni, it mesed up. its jus when u bn wid sum1 its hard to 4got. now ive told him im guna leabe his keeps sayin things to mk me feel sori for him. such as i lv u and mis u. u mean everything to me. she means nothin i aint guna treat her as my wife etc. the ting hurts me lots jus to know sum1 else is havin the person i love its hurts. try not to fal i lv and if u do jus b crful and not trusting
|
|
|
Post by Bunnypie on Jul 7, 2005 21:40:57 GMT
I know wot u saying Life, but i cant move on frm him. i cant say my goodbye;s. like i sed the way im felein rite now id ratha share him wit that b**ch than not hav him in my life at all.
|
|
|
Post by walsallkuri on Jul 8, 2005 11:07:58 GMT
hi life, i read ur replies, and god i really feel for u...i have to say one thing honey-be positive...of course ul find someone else-ok right now no one may replace him...but i bet when u met him u didnt think there was anyone like him in the world...so i bet u the right man will come along..he'll make u happy and hopefully ur family too. I know its gonna be hard at first but u can get thru it....im sure u have ur mates by ur side...
i seriously hope it all works out...just take each day as it comes-as u said-and it'll work out.... take care of urself.xx
|
|
life
New Member
Posts: 17
|
Post by life on Jul 8, 2005 15:21:51 GMT
bunny pie i wish i was as string as u. yh its gud 2 hv sum1 in ur life. but da reason im leaving is coz i dnt wana know and what i dnt know wont hurt me. it wil not b da sme if i stay wid him coz il hv issues and i dnt want him cumin 2 me in da day and goin hme 2 her. i wish him al da best. its so hard to got over him. i stil aint sed my gud bye i am goin to as soon as i am strong. al it is.. is a habit and rountine and oce u break dat habit it wil b fine. like me i chat 2 him everyday etc but once we dnt chat it wil b hard but da rountine wil be broken u get me. i wish u al da best but if u dnt say ur gudbye ur livin in da past and u not movin onto beter things wich u cnt see. i understand wot ur goin thur coz u and me in da same boat kinda. but im movin on coz i dnt wana live in da past.im ere if u nid a chat hun
|
|
|
Post by walsallkuri on Jul 8, 2005 15:24:46 GMT
life can i just say already u r getting stronger because u r thinking forward..even tho it hurts...you know it is for the best....good luck wit everything honey and i hope u find sum1 who makes ya happy..you've been thru a lot and u deserve it.xx
|
|
life
New Member
Posts: 17
|
Post by life on Jul 8, 2005 15:27:16 GMT
yh i understand what ur sayin temptress, its guna tk tym. its hard when u bn wid sum1 4 so long bn thur gud and bad and then 1 day they go. im a strong person and a postive thinker. i know what i hv 2 do and i wil do it.
this situation has mde me understand myself a bit beter and i know what i believe and dnt belive. all i can say 2 al is....
tk each day as it cumz coz u neva know what round da corner wheather it gud or bad. people cum in ur life 4 a reason and we wil neva know why. they cum when the time is rite and when their work is done they will go. and we hv 2 accept this, it hrd coz ur feeling and emotions get the beter of u. its a hard life.
1day i wil meet sum1 coz whats meant 2 b wil be, me and him was not coz if we were things wud of turned out differently. it jus hurts and so does love. i nid dats all.
thanks
|
|