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Post by balkaur on Oct 10, 2008 13:40:16 GMT
what are ur thoughts guys n gals?
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Post by DakuSingh on Oct 10, 2008 13:51:36 GMT
kao, piyo, aish karo
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Post by balkaur on Oct 10, 2008 13:55:31 GMT
no honestly
what do u think of asian girls and white guys in long term relationships?
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Post by londonLIONjatt on Oct 10, 2008 15:08:28 GMT
jehreh lokee firdey ah, oh firdey ah? how am i supposed to view lafungay, and nalaik people?
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Post by balkaur on Oct 10, 2008 15:36:06 GMT
londonjattilion - you what?
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Post by DakuSingh on Oct 10, 2008 16:28:22 GMT
we have a confused desi ,
let me translate what he is saying:
who gives a f**k
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Post by balkaur on Oct 10, 2008 18:10:51 GMT
fair do's
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Post by Street Team 06 on Oct 18, 2008 2:58:10 GMT
It isnt my place to say, but personally I dont agree with it because its a clash of cultures and your parents most certainly wont be happy.. Apart from making your parents happy, think about your children and how they will be brought up, confused and quite possibly gora-fied.. The thing is if your Sikh your meant to marry a Sikh regardless of caste, creed, nationality, even RACE (white sikh/black sikh, etc) but the whole thing about marrying a Sikh is that you can aid each other with your spiritual development..
Hope that made sense.. and ignore those that dont give a f***.. they shouldnt comment in the first place..
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Post by londonLIONjatt on Oct 18, 2008 15:55:09 GMT
well if they are doing the "going-out"-with-someone turna firna stuff, they are pretty gorafied to begin with, so already close to gora culture  |
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Gora
New Member
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Post by Gora on Oct 21, 2008 19:09:53 GMT
I'm dating a brown girl and we are really serious. But I'm white. I think it is funny, because so many people are worried about the culture clash. But the funniest thing is I care more about learning Indian heritage than a lot of my brown friends. I'm taking punjabi at university, learning sikh prayers, I can already write more in gurmukhi then lots of the brown guys I work with.
If I thought it would make a difference, I would convert to Sikhism, but the family only cares about my skin colour. If I were a white sikh, it wouldn't matter.
It would be stupid of me not to recognize that there are matches that would not work because of a culture clash, but is just as stupid for someone else to think there aren't cases where it could work.
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Post by Ghost... on Oct 21, 2008 19:12:49 GMT
so you cant marry her?
why be with her then?
aah the westerns..
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Gora
New Member
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Post by Gora on Oct 21, 2008 19:24:41 GMT
I fully intend to marry her. Marriage isn't practical right now, both going to school, her a lawyer, me in medicine. The biggest thing that if/when we marry, her parents will disown her. So you can understand why we aren't in any hurry.
What do you mean aah the westerns. I thought you said you were white..or at least not Indian?
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Post by Ghost... on Oct 21, 2008 19:40:46 GMT
yeah safe, but what if u decide to marry, and her parents say no..you gna do it anyway? you gna stop there and walk away? think man, think.
when did i say i was white?
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Gora
New Member
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Post by Gora on Oct 21, 2008 19:54:47 GMT
in the other thread, the heading was "Are there any other white guys or girls?"
you said, yea me.
I think you were answering that you are non-indian, like nationality. I was trying to ask if there are any people, basically, like me. I'm totally white, not an ounce of Indian ancestry in my blood. I guess you misunderstood the question.
And if it's not too much trouble, I would appreciate you not talking down to me. "Think man, think." Now that you said that, I guess I'll just have to start thinking.
Actually both of us are prepared to marry. As far as she is concerned, if her parents decide to disown her, it is sad, but their choice. We already know what her parents want, and if we weren't ready to go through with it, we wouldn't still be together.
It's unfortunate that so many people accept this type of coercion as acceptable.
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Post by Ghost... on Oct 21, 2008 20:49:38 GMT
i was answering your question in your post, not the thread title.
i answered "are there any non-indians" something like that and i said yeah me.
im not talking down man, its advice, fair enough you might already be doing that, but i dont know that.
i get what you're saying and i get what you're willing to do..
but you go on to say
"It's unfortunate that so many people accept this type of coercion as acceptable. "
do you see as what you are doing acceptable?
what if it was your sister or some other female relation in your family, how would you be about it all?
again, not talking down, just would like to see what you have to say
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Gora
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Post by Gora on Oct 21, 2008 21:18:27 GMT
Fair enough, and I appreciate your thoughts. There are a lot of disrespectful people on this forum. It's good to know that you don't mean to talk down.
I would appreciate if you could elaborate on the question: "do you see as what you are doing acceptable?" What am I doing that might be unacceptable? I am not pressuring my partner to choose between her family and myself. We have had frank conversations, and I have asked her, "Are you sure you are willing to sacrifice your family to be with me?" Of course, I tell her that I love her and that I want to be with her, but I am not giving her any ultimatums.
Why do you specifically ask about sister or female relation? Why not male? If a male goes against his family's wishes, does that not matter? I know it does, but obviously not as much as if a woman/girl does. I know that there is a double-standard in this culture, it is something worth talking about.
Specifically, my family is supportive of each other in our separate decisions. Like the rest of my family, if I had a concern with something my sister did, I would share that concern, but I would never force an ultimatum (you or them). Ultimately, if it makes her happy, it makes me happy.
The mentality isn't even rational. People try to rationalize racism, but it cannot be rationalized because it isn't rational to begin with. As I said, if I were Sikh and Indian in every other regard save my skin colour, it would still not work in their eyes.
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Post by JackWilshere on Oct 21, 2008 21:39:58 GMT
There are a lot of disrespectful people on this forum. You being one of them, your supposition that I think my sister is my ''property'' is the most offensive thing iv ever read on this site, you only posted that because I'm brown and you're buying into the generalization that women in our culture are oppressed. |
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Post by DakuSingh on Oct 21, 2008 21:50:13 GMT
is balkaur the person who started the thread ur girl "Gora" ?
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Gora
New Member
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Post by Gora on Oct 21, 2008 21:53:03 GMT
Look, buddy. The notion that it is your job to keep your sister in line is pretty awful. What makes you think that women are less capable of making decisions than men? Your comment implies that you think women need a man to make sure they don't do anything wrong. Does your sister have the same amount of power to keep you in line? Are you telling me that her opinion holds as much weight as yours.
You are implying that I am racist to deflect the point. The fact of the matter is, I have no idea what race you are, nor does it matter. If a white guy told me it was his job to keep his sister in line, I would still say that is sexist. I never said women in your culture are oppressed, those are your words. But the fact that you are bringing it up, not me, shows me that the thought had crossed your mind.
There is a double-standard in all cultures, including "Western culture," and in some cultures it is more explicit than others. If you disagree, then I don't know what to say to you. Maybe you just can't see it because the double-standard is in your favor.
If you want to have an honest discussion, I'm all for it. If you are looking for a flaming war, I'm not going to bother responding to you.
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Gora
New Member
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Post by Gora on Oct 21, 2008 21:55:30 GMT
dakusingh:
no, the person who started the thread is not my girl. I don't think I know anyone on this forum. my girlfriend isn't a member
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Post by DakuSingh on Oct 21, 2008 22:01:09 GMT
cool "gora" go for it dude. but u from surrey. i hope ur girl aint the 5abi kuri . from surrey
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Post by JackWilshere on Oct 21, 2008 22:01:32 GMT
Look, buddy. The notion that it is your job to keep your sister in line is pretty awful. What makes you think that women are less capable of making decisions than men? Your comment implies that you think women need a man to make sure they don't do anything wrong. Does your sister have the same amount of power to keep you in line? Are you telling me that her opinion holds as much weight as yours. What makes you think i am of the mindset that i believe a women is less capable of making decisions than a man? Which part of my comment implies that i think women need a man to make sure they don't do anything wrong? All I said was that she has all the freedom she wants and knows not to cross the line. You seem to be making alot of assumptions from this. My sister is 10 years younger than me and her opinion holds as much water as mine, our family revolves around her. |
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Post by Ghost... on Oct 21, 2008 22:01:40 GMT
Gora...you talk sense lad.
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Gora
New Member
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Post by Gora on Oct 21, 2008 22:13:55 GMT
"Sister is young but she knows how to roll, she has freedom, but she knows not to cross certain lines (we all know what those lines are)."
Then if I interpreted this wrong, I will sincerely apologize for the quick judgment. Can you elaborate what you mean by, "she knows not to cross certain lines (we all know what those lines are)."
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Gora
New Member
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Post by Gora on Oct 21, 2008 22:16:15 GMT
Furthermore, it was in the thread about protecting your sister. When you say, "she has freedom," it sounds like you are implying that she has freedom that you are so generous to grant her, rather than a freedom that every individual should have inherently.
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