Post by Ek Badmash on Dec 28, 2004 2:02:26 GMT
The Equation:
7 Glance = 1 Smile
7 Smile = 1 Meeting
7 Meeting = 1 Kiss
7 Kisses = 1 Proposal
7 Proposal = 1 Marriage -
And that 1 Bloody marriage has 777777777777 problems.
So beware of glance!
Plan For Future:
Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?
Ram: I want 2 b a pilot.
Vinod: I want 2 b a doctor.
Deepa: I want 2 b a good mother.
Ravi: I want 2 help Deepa.
Exams:
Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS;
1,Too Many Questions.
2,Difficult to Understand.
3,More Explanation is Needed.
4,Result is always FAIL!
Liar:
A man is dying of Cancer.
His son asked him, "Dad, why do u keep telling people u're dying of AIDS?"
Answer: "So when I'm dead no one will dare touch ur mom
Delivered:
Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Two seconds later a report came to his phone and he started dancing. The report said, "DELIVERED".
Three Feelings:
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and Panic is when both are pregnant.
=======================================================
Could anybody of you define a sleeperhouse?
Just look and ponder over the statements made by females in my neighbourhood wityhout any reason:
1. I give alot!
2. Aajaa aajaa tujhe de doo!
3. Kitnaa legaa!
4. tujhe zindagi bhar deti rahu...aajaa!
5. dene ke baad kahun..aai samajh mein....
6. abhi tere kaaran kissi aur ko deke aai hun!
7. help me! F1! mujhe dene nahin de rahaa!
8. main kahan jaaon! kisse doo! koi to roko isko jaa rahaa hai! JAA rahaa kahin bhi ho saktaa hai!
9. main kitni baddi hun maaloom nahin hai tujhe!
10. main abhi apne client ko de doo to tu kahin nahin rahegaa!
11. Hat nange! kuchh nahin hai tu!
12. main de aai hun! ho jaayegaa kaam! kaam lag gaye tere!
13. maan gayaa dene par hi! kuchh karnaa nahin padegaa!
14. khel(mastuburate) hum logo pe khel! le dekh! de rahi hun!
15. bahen! main teri bahen! chhoo(thingy hole) dekh! dekhtaa yaa nahin!
16. nahin dekhegaa! le dekh(like eunuchs)!
17. main bachhi! main bechaari! le khel! mujhe samajhegaa bacchi!
18. office jaayegaa! khel ! mat jaa@! issane mujhe binaa paise diye dekhaa! taange kaat do office jaayegaa! mujhe iski salary chahiye! naukri chahiye!
19. mujhe degaa! woh bhi binaa paise diye huai! salary de iski!
20. gaali bakegaa! main bhulli gi kaise! main de rahi thi sirf! naa salary di naa naukri naa hi kucch aur! gaali di humein! bhaisaheb samajhiye! salary chahiye! zindagi chahiye iski! main to de rahi thi sirf
Isn't it a sleeperhouse! Am I wrong anywhere? It shows they want to kill somebody or me!
Don't let them spoil anylife! they spoil skills, personal life, sex life and kill people by barking like that in front higher managers of big-big companies! It is not a joke! I have met many females and males connected to them who behave like this! They say, they test peple like this instead of talking to general public in a decent way!
=======================================================
Best of Sardar. . .
Srdr: I haven't slept all nite in the train.
Frnd: Y?
Srdr: Got upper berth.
Frnd: Y did'nt u Xchnged?
Srdr: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower
berth..
Sardar tells a girl "Come 2 my house at nite, nobody
will be there.............
Girl goes at night & realy nobody was there
A SARDAR went 2 a BANK to open a S.B. A/C. After
seeing the Form He had gone to DELHI for filling up. U
know y?
FORM say " FILL UP IN CAPITAL ".
A sardar invested 2 Lakhs in a business and Suffered
huge Loss.
Do u know what the business was?
He opened a Hair Cutting Saloon in Punjab!
A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after
Every 10 sec a women gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.
Sardar-why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r
others running?
19 SARDARS WENT 4A FILM.ON ASKING THEM Y THEY CAME IN
A BIG GROUP OF 19? THEY REPLIED THAT THE FILM WAS ONLY
FOR ABOVE 18...
A sardharji photographer focusing a dead body's face
in a funeral function, suddenly all relatives beat him
why?
He said "SMILE PLEASE"
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence
into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".
Sardar gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs
tree, sits on the branch regularly.
A man asks why he does this. Srdr:"I've been
promoted as branch manager."
Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open
mouth................. WHY?because his doctor advised
him "Todays dinner should be light"
Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He
was not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary
Expected".
After much thought he wrote : Yes!
SARDAR & FAMILY GO 2 A PARTY. HE INTRODUCES HIMSELF -
I SARDAR,SHE SARDARNEE, THE BOY MY KID & THE GIRL MY
KIDNEY....
One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his
college.
U knw Why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is
leaking...
Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It"s already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.
Santa! Your daughter has died!
Depressed, Sardar jumps from 100th floor
At 50th floor he remembers I don't have a daughter!
At 25flr:I'm unmarried!
At 10flr:I'm Banta not santa
ON A ROMANTIC DATE SARDARS GIRL FRIEND ASKS
HIM,DARLING ON OUR ENGAGEMENT WILL U GIVE ME A RING?
HE SAID YA SURE WHATS YOUR PHONE NUMBER
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question
ever - What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.
A dog was chasing a Sardar and the Sardar was
laughing.
A bystander: why are u laughing?
Sardar: I have a Air cell phone but still hutch
network is following me.
Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer
gave 11 cr after deducting tax.
Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs
back.!
A teacher told all students in a class to write an
essay on a cricket match.All were busy writing except
one Sardarji.He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"
Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This
Packet
Sardar:- why did u come so far. Instead u could have
posted it....
What does a sardar do after taking a xerox?
He will compare it with the original for any spelling
mistakes.
Sardar proposed a Girl......
Girl said 'I'm 1yr elder to you'...........
Sardar said 'Oye No Problem Soniye,I'll marry you NEXT
YEAR.
WHY CANT SARDARS DIAL NINE-ELEVEN (911) AT EMERGENCY?
THEY CAN NOT FIND THE ELEVEN ON THE PHONE.
Sardar & his wife buy coffee in a shop.
Sardar says... Drink quickly......
Wife asks why...
Sardar says hot coffee Rs5 and cold coffee Rs10
A Sardar & his wife filed an application 4 Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide, U"VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We"ll apply NEXT YEAR
Sardar's wish :when i die,i wana die lik my grandpa
who died peacefuly in his sleep not screamin like all
the passengers in the car he was driving..
Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible
looking thing is what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!
Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't read
very fast.
Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in
punjab.
Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are
still digging for more..
A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking
at evening not in the morning.
Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.
Srdr goes2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words.
It is 'U R STANDNG ON D OXGN TUBE!"
Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his
eyes closed.
His wife asked what you are doing ?
He said-im seeing how i look while sleeping.
7 Glance = 1 Smile
7 Smile = 1 Meeting
7 Meeting = 1 Kiss
7 Kisses = 1 Proposal
7 Proposal = 1 Marriage -
And that 1 Bloody marriage has 777777777777 problems.
So beware of glance!
Plan For Future:
Teacher asks children, what do u wish 2 do in future?
Ram: I want 2 b a pilot.
Vinod: I want 2 b a doctor.
Deepa: I want 2 b a good mother.
Ravi: I want 2 help Deepa.
Exams:
Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS;
1,Too Many Questions.
2,Difficult to Understand.
3,More Explanation is Needed.
4,Result is always FAIL!
Liar:
A man is dying of Cancer.
His son asked him, "Dad, why do u keep telling people u're dying of AIDS?"
Answer: "So when I'm dead no one will dare touch ur mom
Delivered:
Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Two seconds later a report came to his phone and he started dancing. The report said, "DELIVERED".
Three Feelings:
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and Panic is when both are pregnant.
=======================================================
Could anybody of you define a sleeperhouse?
Just look and ponder over the statements made by females in my neighbourhood wityhout any reason:
1. I give alot!
2. Aajaa aajaa tujhe de doo!
3. Kitnaa legaa!
4. tujhe zindagi bhar deti rahu...aajaa!
5. dene ke baad kahun..aai samajh mein....
6. abhi tere kaaran kissi aur ko deke aai hun!
7. help me! F1! mujhe dene nahin de rahaa!
8. main kahan jaaon! kisse doo! koi to roko isko jaa rahaa hai! JAA rahaa kahin bhi ho saktaa hai!
9. main kitni baddi hun maaloom nahin hai tujhe!
10. main abhi apne client ko de doo to tu kahin nahin rahegaa!
11. Hat nange! kuchh nahin hai tu!
12. main de aai hun! ho jaayegaa kaam! kaam lag gaye tere!
13. maan gayaa dene par hi! kuchh karnaa nahin padegaa!
14. khel(mastuburate) hum logo pe khel! le dekh! de rahi hun!
15. bahen! main teri bahen! chhoo(thingy hole) dekh! dekhtaa yaa nahin!
16. nahin dekhegaa! le dekh(like eunuchs)!
17. main bachhi! main bechaari! le khel! mujhe samajhegaa bacchi!
18. office jaayegaa! khel ! mat jaa@! issane mujhe binaa paise diye dekhaa! taange kaat do office jaayegaa! mujhe iski salary chahiye! naukri chahiye!
19. mujhe degaa! woh bhi binaa paise diye huai! salary de iski!
20. gaali bakegaa! main bhulli gi kaise! main de rahi thi sirf! naa salary di naa naukri naa hi kucch aur! gaali di humein! bhaisaheb samajhiye! salary chahiye! zindagi chahiye iski! main to de rahi thi sirf
Isn't it a sleeperhouse! Am I wrong anywhere? It shows they want to kill somebody or me!
Don't let them spoil anylife! they spoil skills, personal life, sex life and kill people by barking like that in front higher managers of big-big companies! It is not a joke! I have met many females and males connected to them who behave like this! They say, they test peple like this instead of talking to general public in a decent way!
=======================================================
Best of Sardar. . .
Srdr: I haven't slept all nite in the train.
Frnd: Y?
Srdr: Got upper berth.
Frnd: Y did'nt u Xchnged?
Srdr: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower
berth..
Sardar tells a girl "Come 2 my house at nite, nobody
will be there.............
Girl goes at night & realy nobody was there
A SARDAR went 2 a BANK to open a S.B. A/C. After
seeing the Form He had gone to DELHI for filling up. U
know y?
FORM say " FILL UP IN CAPITAL ".
A sardar invested 2 Lakhs in a business and Suffered
huge Loss.
Do u know what the business was?
He opened a Hair Cutting Saloon in Punjab!
A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after
Every 10 sec a women gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.
Sardar-why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r
others running?
19 SARDARS WENT 4A FILM.ON ASKING THEM Y THEY CAME IN
A BIG GROUP OF 19? THEY REPLIED THAT THE FILM WAS ONLY
FOR ABOVE 18...
A sardharji photographer focusing a dead body's face
in a funeral function, suddenly all relatives beat him
why?
He said "SMILE PLEASE"
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence
into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".
Sardar gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs
tree, sits on the branch regularly.
A man asks why he does this. Srdr:"I've been
promoted as branch manager."
Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open
mouth................. WHY?because his doctor advised
him "Todays dinner should be light"
Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He
was not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary
Expected".
After much thought he wrote : Yes!
SARDAR & FAMILY GO 2 A PARTY. HE INTRODUCES HIMSELF -
I SARDAR,SHE SARDARNEE, THE BOY MY KID & THE GIRL MY
KIDNEY....
One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his
college.
U knw Why?
Because he wanted to check where the question paper is
leaking...
Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It"s already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.
Santa! Your daughter has died!
Depressed, Sardar jumps from 100th floor
At 50th floor he remembers I don't have a daughter!
At 25flr:I'm unmarried!
At 10flr:I'm Banta not santa
ON A ROMANTIC DATE SARDARS GIRL FRIEND ASKS
HIM,DARLING ON OUR ENGAGEMENT WILL U GIVE ME A RING?
HE SAID YA SURE WHATS YOUR PHONE NUMBER
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question
ever - What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.
A dog was chasing a Sardar and the Sardar was
laughing.
A bystander: why are u laughing?
Sardar: I have a Air cell phone but still hutch
network is following me.
Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer
gave 11 cr after deducting tax.
Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs
back.!
A teacher told all students in a class to write an
essay on a cricket match.All were busy writing except
one Sardarji.He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"
Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This
Packet
Sardar:- why did u come so far. Instead u could have
posted it....
What does a sardar do after taking a xerox?
He will compare it with the original for any spelling
mistakes.
Sardar proposed a Girl......
Girl said 'I'm 1yr elder to you'...........
Sardar said 'Oye No Problem Soniye,I'll marry you NEXT
YEAR.
WHY CANT SARDARS DIAL NINE-ELEVEN (911) AT EMERGENCY?
THEY CAN NOT FIND THE ELEVEN ON THE PHONE.
Sardar & his wife buy coffee in a shop.
Sardar says... Drink quickly......
Wife asks why...
Sardar says hot coffee Rs5 and cold coffee Rs10
A Sardar & his wife filed an application 4 Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide, U"VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We"ll apply NEXT YEAR
Sardar's wish :when i die,i wana die lik my grandpa
who died peacefuly in his sleep not screamin like all
the passengers in the car he was driving..
Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible
looking thing is what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!
Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't read
very fast.
Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in
punjab.
Local sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are
still digging for more..
A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking
at evening not in the morning.
Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.
Srdr goes2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words.
It is 'U R STANDNG ON D OXGN TUBE!"
Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his
eyes closed.
His wife asked what you are doing ?
He said-im seeing how i look while sleeping.