tony.....

[User]

man im waiting for your new jokes

[sandhu4u]

ahahha awwwwww il giv ju sum!

[sandhu4u]

One American, one Japanese and Banta Singh were sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound.

The American pressed his arm and the beep stopped. The others looked at him questioningly.

"That was my pager," he said. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm." A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese fellow lifted his palm to his ear and spoke briefly into it.

When he finished he explained, "That was mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."

Banta Singh felt decidedly low-tech. So as not to be outdone, he decided he had to do something just as impressive.

He stepped out of the sauna and went to the toilet. He returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his backside. The others raised their eyebrows...!

"Will you look at that," said Banta Singh. "I'm getting a fax!"

[sandhu4u]

DIFFERENT TYPES OF Nuts

Ghost Nuts
The kind where you feel the Nuts come out, but there is no Nuts in the
toilet.

Clean Nuts
The kind where you Nuts it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

Wet Nuts
The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and underwear so you won't ruin them with a stain.

Second Wave Nuts
This happens when you're done Nuts-ing and you've pulled up your pants to your knees, and you realize that you have to Nuts some more.

Pop-A-Vein-In-Your-Forehead-Nuts
The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a
stroke.

Gassy Nuts
It's so noisy, everyone within earshot is laughing.

Drinker Nuts
The kind of Nuts you have the morning after a long night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.

Lincoln Log Nuts
The kind of Nuts that is so huge you're afraid to flush without first
breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.

Corn Nuts
Self-explanatory.

Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-Nuts Nuts
The kind where you want to Nuts but all you do is sit on the toilet and
fart a few times.

Spinal Tap Nuts
That's where it hurts so badly coming out, you would swear it was leaving you sideways.

Wet Cheeks Nuts (The Power Dump)
The kind that comes out of your butt so fast, your butt gets splashed with water.

Liquid Nuts
The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl.

Mexican Nuts
It smells so bad your nose burns.

The Surprise Nuts
You're not even at the toilet because you are sure you're about to fart, but oops.......Nuts!!!

The Dangling Nuts
This Nuts refuses to drop into the toilet even though you know you are done Nuts-ing it. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose.!!!!!!!!!!
lolz!

[sandhu4u]

sowiiii ma lil bro mde me put up dat its his fav hahahha

[sandhu4u]

Man givs blood 2 save his girlfriends life,

later they split up & man says..
" I want my blood bak!"

Girl throws used tampon and says..
"I'll pay u monthly u Bas!*rd!"

[sandhu4u]

Ranjit was driving down the motorway, when a policeman came and stopped him. "What was i doing wrong?" asked Ranjit. "Speeding" said the policeman.
The policeman inspected the car and asked to see him MOT. "Where's your MOT please?" asked the policeman. "MOT?" wondered Ranjit. Suddenly he pointed to his wife sitting in the front seat. "Eh Motiiiiiii!"

[rickyduggal]

i heard that last one b4 too many timez lol crakd me up

[sandhu4u]

d nuts jke supposd 2b T*tti instead of nuts lolll