Post by AJ on Jan 27, 2006 19:09:21 GMT
Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are
bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here then, are the
glorious
winners:
1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
during
a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did
something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and
tried
the trigger again. This time it worked..... And now, the honorable
mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting
machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its
men
to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a
finger.
The chef's claim was approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during
a
blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken
the
space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
from
Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence,
the
driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a
free
ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling
the
staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre
fantasies
The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close
he
could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter,
and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, he man
pulled
a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk
promptly
provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20
bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the
drawer...$15.
(If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime
committed?)
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some
booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head
at
the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on
the
head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of
Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
grabbed
her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was
able
to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the
police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back
to
the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand
there
for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her.
That's
the lady I stole the purse from."
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
Burger
King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded
cash.
The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash
register
without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said
they
weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
******A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on
a
Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived
at
the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near
spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying
to
steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage
tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges,
saying
that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here then, are the
glorious
winners:
1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim
during
a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did
something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and
tried
the trigger again. This time it worked..... And now, the honorable
mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting
machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its
men
to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a
finger.
The chef's claim was approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during
a
blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken
the
space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver
found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
from
Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence,
the
driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a
free
ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling
the
staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre
fantasies
The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close
he
could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the
counter,
and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, he man
pulled
a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk
promptly
provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20
bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the
drawer...$15.
(If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime
committed?)
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some
booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head
at
the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on
the
head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of
Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man
grabbed
her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was
able
to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the
police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back
to
the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand
there
for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her.
That's
the lady I stole the purse from."
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a
Burger
King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded
cash.
The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash
register
without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said
they
weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
******A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on
a
Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived
at
the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near
spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying
to
steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage
tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges,
saying
that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
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